Friday, November 08, 2013

You are not in competition while dating online.

Online dating logo
Yesterday, a couple of my old students visited me. I was taken aback by how they turned out to look beautiful. I casually asked them how they are managing the dating proposals online considering their active social media presence.

Surprisingly, none of them giggled. This indicated that they are matured. One girl’s reply told me how matured youth treated dating proposals received. Girls don’t like to be treated as if there is a contest on and they have to be won by rather dishonest methods. While trying to impress girls, boys project themselves as cinema heroes which would never be true in reality. 

This is what I have gathered from their views and ideas about online dating:
Online dating is not a competition between competing males for the attention of a female.  Grow up.  Change your mind set from “winning” to “searching”.  This isn’t high school.  You are all grown up and have been for quite some time, now.  Your attitude is the most important asset you have.  You should like yourself and not concentrate of all of the things that aren’t YOUR idea of the perfect guy…the one the all women want. 
What is that women want, you ask?  That’s the age old question.  Being of the female persuasion myself, I can tell you a few things women want and don’t want.  

Women want a man to be confident…NOT an arrogant jerk.  There’s a big difference.  You need to like yourself and not be self depreciating but you don’t need to come across like you believe that you are a gift to them from God and have just fallen from the sky.  They don’t want you to think that THEY just fell from heaven and are some kind of perfect being, either.  They can’t live up to that expectation. 

Women want a communicator. The “strong silent type” really isn’t appealing at all.   They think you probably don’t have an original thought in your head and you probably haven’t heard a word they said, either or that you just don’t care what they said or didn’t even hear what they said.  They want you to be interesting enough to want to know more about you and they want you to think that they are interesting enough to ask intelligent questions about what is important to them, too.

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